Today is Sunday. It is also a fat day. I didn't even eat all that much, I just lost the desire to suck in as much as I usually do. Today I have felt about the most out of shape I've felt since wearing a button down shirt that didn't fit anymore. I read a book for almost 3 hours and the whole time was halfway focused on my book, halfway on my stomach and marveling at its size. It has always bothered me how much girls think they're fat when they're not...but I'm honestly one of the biggest (no pun intended) offenders. That is, unless I really am fat, and all the people telling me I'm not are just liars.
I spend a lot less time thinking about my weight though if I'm actually exercising a lot. Hopefully my new running shoes will arrive tomorrow so that I can start exercising again. I signed up to run the Red Rock Relay thinking that would be a great way to get me back in shape. Not too long into my "training" though I got a sharp pain in my shin. Trying to run through it, I felt like my shin exploded. I came home from a mile and a half run crying. I haven't run since then and it has been 10 days...I really need my shoes to arrive.
Either that or I need to get a gym membership. I've thought about getting one since I was in 5th grade and started thinking I was fat and after my aerobics class senior year I've realized that I would actually use it. Classes are by far the most effective way for me to exercise because I need the motivation that comes from them.
It's all about motivation. I gave up sweets for two weeks as another weight loss plan, and it was only possible because I had motivation. A boy I didn't like told me I had to date him if I ate sweets. It was then easy to do and I lost five pounds! (They're back now. In a big way.) So maybe I should just cave and get a gym membership because it would be the motivation I need to actually do something about feeling fat instead of just rot in the feeling.
I hate ranting here on this blog. I will only blog on days I don't write missionaries. That, my friends, is the motivation I need to write missionaries.
